Greyashe chapter 363 is entitled "Duo".

Previous chapter 362: Status report.

Next chapter 364: That which must be left behind.

Summary page

-Short summary-

Van and Clare catch up to the events that have brought them to the current moment.

-Long summary-

It had been a fairly innocuous question around a campfire provided by the Goddess killer herself one evening about a year ago. Van and the newly named Claire had stopped to rest for the evening when the farseer overwhelmed by curiosity had asked the "Goddess killer" where she had come from and where she intends to go. In normal circumstances, Van finds himself passive enough to simply allow situations to lead him rather than arguing against them because it just seemed more polite, and furthermore he had always felt just a tinge of ineffectual feelings towards the world in general. After all he has no idea what happened to his parents, or how he even ended up in Greyashe besides what Mr. Sikes and others had told him. 

Claire gives him a withering look for a moment as if she's wondering how she can avoid answering his question. Finally she sighs and closes her eyes asking him a question in return. Does he know where he came from and where he's going at this precise moment? Van blinks and tilts his head, both surprised that she seemed to look into his psyche so easily --isn't that his ability? And maybe just a tiny, tiny bit annoyed that she took so long to not answer his question. Nonetheless, the farseer shakes his head as a nonverbal response. Claire asks him then why she should know these things if he doesn't himself? The reality of life is that we don't know anything without another's intervention. Just like she had informed him that he is really a farseer and probably not from Greyashe, someone in turn had informed her of her destiny to be the weapon of the Challengers of eternity. Simply put, where one comes from and where they are going is dependent on other people.

Van mulls this over, and shakes his head. He thinks that's a sad way to live --based on the will of others. He won't deny that it is true --people need others to form themselves, but that this is their only choice is too much for him to accept. At some point a person has to gather as much information as they can and make a decision on their own if they want to live happily. Claire eyes him incredulously and asks then what he'd decide to do with what she told him? Where would he like to go? Van pats the nape of his neck sheepishly and admits that the answer to those questions aren't quite to easy to find, however he is sure of one thing. He is indebted to her for telling him the truth, and allowing him to come along with her. So at least for the time being, he'd like to go wherever she's going. Claire barely manages to turn away to hide her blush from him, and mumbles that she doesn't know where she's going so he could very well end up getting lost with her somewhere.

Van chews his lip thoughtfully, and offers that being lost is when one has a destination but doesn't know how to get there. Ergo, they aren't lost since they don't know where they're going...yet. They're more like travelers on a journey to find a place to get lost going to. Claire turns to him and the two regard one another before sharing a fierce grin. She says she likes that excuse, and Van withers replying that he meant it seriously and not as an excuse.

The ebb and flow of memories recedes leaving the two at the current moment, where Van and Claire stand maybe only a few miles away from what would seem to be their final destination. The two are stubborn, knowing full well what they want but not backing down until the other submits. Van would like to head to Butcher right away so that he can begin the final battle in earnest, while Claire wants answers. The gentle boy she had cared deeply for is in pain, and no matter how he might console her with lies to the contrary, she had indirectly begun this downward spiral for him beginning with their encounter in Greyashe. Truth be told she didn't really want him to tag along with her, but her pity overcame her common sense and here they are. The least thing he could do now is to be straight with her and tell the truth.

Van can tell this is what she is thinking due to his heightened senses. Whereas in the past he made a rule with himself to never peak into the hearts of his friends, with the addition of magic to his farseeing ability he now sees almost everyone as an open book, as if he's in a library where all the books are on tables and open for anyone to see their contents. At first he had been one to run about this library and shut the books before taking a good look at them, but that much activity was stressful and useless in the scheme of things, especially now that he would need all of his energy to take on Butcher. Instead he fortifies his mental wall to block out what he doesn't want to know, and filter in what is important. That's why he can tell that he won't be able to satisfy his friend with a few absentminded platitudes and reassurances. Even without his powers he knows Clare is not one to be consoled when she is upset.

Van clears his throat and paces while speaking, the words being dredged up by his sudden movements. He finds it ironic that he's having this same conversation with both of the important women in his life in the same day. Claire's eyebrow rises slowly but she keeps whatever thoughts she has to herself as he continues. Suffering or not, there is a job to be done, and explaining his feelings won't change that. Yes he has been through quite a bit since the last time they talked slightly before the winter goddess took her away to heal her eroding mind. He had fought with many magicians, been defiled by dark magic, venerated by agape, lost that same power, and broken the taboo of farseers being unable to use magic. Not to mention he had taken a life with his own two hands for the sake of survival or....

Claire inclines her head as she waits for him to finish the sentence, which only leads to a pregnant silence. Van shakes his head and admits to himself that he had killed a man because he had been frustrated by his own lack of ability. It seems that he's always in some way or another at the mercy of those around him, whether they want to help or harm him. He had finally achieved some power and in his own selfish fit of rage had used it to kill someone who could no longer harm anyone. As such he's a criminal now. No amount of atonement would change this, and he's well aware of the implications of his actions even after he defeats Butcher. That being said, he still needs to do this. If not for himself then for the people who would suffer if their enemy is not stopped.

Claire crosses her arms and for a moment just exists. Van is unsure if his friend is still breathing as she stands completely still, and for a moment wonders if time is passing. Just when he can't take the silence anymore Claire's eyes shoot open and she asks Van if he ever figured out where he is going and where he came from? Van is almost physically taken aback by this and has to regain his composure. He asks what relevance this has to their current conversation, to which Claire replies that she will explain once he answers the question. Van pats the nape of his neck and furrows his brow admitting that he hasn't really thought about it....though can anyone really blame him?

Claire smiles warmly and replies. "I can blame you."

She then steps to him, despite only reaching maybe the upper part of her back due to her petite stature. Here's the thing. He hasn't changed one iota since they met, although the world around them has. Even his reaction to the question has only changed minimally. So in short the farseer had arrogantly thought that he should be the only one to change while the world shouldn't. That he should shoulder all of the burdens of the world, his friends, and his abilities all on his own. The problem with that thinking is that the world is changing, and no matter how strong he gets, no matter how many taboos his breaks, he will at some point find himself at a lack of ability. What happens then? Does he shoulder more weight? Or will he simply shatter from all that he has already?

After she had been taken by the winter goddess Ancasta she had acted as a "fifth" goddess. She would go along with them to ensure the world's safety and fight on their side, since her memories had faded with the erosion of her mind. She had been there when Falkner had declared war on the world to save it. She had regained her memories of not only her time with Van, but her whole life when Akariel had sacrificed herself by inducing an angel fall. Apparently when an angel dies on the surface, their power is unable to return above and simply disperses itself until it can find another angelic vessel to inhabit. So she is now a combination of Akariel and herself, and the damage to her memory had been healed by inheriting her fellow angel's power. That's why she had leaped into action trying to incite humans to fight against the sentinents powers, and had known where Dio resided on the surface. She had learned to change and adapt to the world she loves, and had relied on others to do so. Meanwhile he stubbornly keeps walking forward hoping to shoulder everything on his own without even knowing what is going on behind him or what awaits ahead. Even now his friends are fighting because they believe in what is right and more importantly in him. No one had asked him to do anything for them had they?

Van opens his mouth to refute her and realizes he can't.

He might have thought they asked for his help, but it was more like he volunteered himself for them, and hadn't really ever waited for them to reply that they need his help. He had always just assumed that they do. Meanwhile Claire has always relied on him and anyone else she met along the way to help her. In short, she knows more about the world she wasn't even born on than he who had lived here all of his life.

Irony truly is cruel.

The farseer's throat runs dry and emotion that he had locked back mentally threatens to overwhelm him. Choking back some of that latent emotion, Van asks his friend --his best friend what he should do then? He can't deny that he is suffering anymore, but he doesn't know anything but this weight on his chest and heart. Claire's eyes soften for a millisecond, but return to a harsh gaze as she crosses her arms and looks at him with a vague contempt. She asks him to tell her the truth. Does he hate her for bringing him out into this world? Van stiffens, and shakes his head in the negative. Then how does he feel? Right now, what is he thinking about?

Van doesn't need a moment to consider this. He immediately replies that he wants help from his best friend. He feels that without her he cannot do this --defeat Butcher. Whether he hates her or does not about leaving Greyashe is --as he told his mother, irrelevant. Right now what matters is --

Claire motions for him to bend down and she wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him. That is the correct answer. He is suffering because he thinks he can do this alone. He can't. Period. She will be there for him and expects for him to do the same for her.

Van nods and wipes away a tear. He promises this.

Suddenly, a swell of energy fills them with dread and the two turn to the castle before them where Butcher resides. A dome of pure black hatred surrounds the palace and bellows into the shape of a screaming black skull that chomps down on the castle and surrounds it with a barrier. Van and Claire watch as this happens, unsure of what is going on until the very last second. The angel stands resolute with an expression caught somewhere between acknowledgement and sadness, while Van eyes the skull black barrier with an unreadable expression.

This is Butcher's last test to them, the final wall before their showdown.

Even now the sadistic sentient would not allow them to walk in unscathed.